Father God

Today I choose to live a day of integrity.
Today I choose to not get offended and to forgive quickly.
Today I choose to be a loving mother and an encouraging wife.
Today I choose to walk forward in my relationship with Christ.
Today I choose to forgive myself the way that Christ has forgiven me.
Today I choose to walk in the joy of the Lord.
Today I choose to humble myself.
Today I choose to rest in his presence.
Today I choose to share God's love with those I meet.

I got a phone call last night from my best friend since middle school. The one person who has walked beside me for the past 20 years. Who knows my past and yet can still see my future and hope with me for better days to come. That's one of the best benefits of friends that love you, they share their struggles with you and you with them and at the end of the day if I was ever in need she would be right here by my side loving me through it.

About 2 weeks ago she lost her Granddaddy. Then 36 hours later she lost her Dad. I can't even imagine her pain and her suffering but her purpose for calling me wasn't to burden me with bad news, or just for me to pray with her. No, she called to tell me to make amends with my Dad because you don't know how many more days you can put it off. You don't know how many more opportunities that you will have to say what needs to be said and hear what needs to be heard. My friend and her Dad...well the story is long and gruesome, but no matter what the circumstances, she is his little girl and he is her Daddy.

How often we could walk in abandonment, how we can become bitter and resentful and never get the opportunity to love the ones that have hurt us the most. When we were in middle school she found out the man she thought was her father, wasn't her father after all. This man she nows calls Daddy came into her life and she for the last 20 years has taken his spoonful of love with very little complaining, and used it one spoon at a time to fill her bucket of need. She changed her last name that year to reflect the new knowledge that he was her father. She kept that name until she got married.

Isaiah 56:5 says, "To them I will give within my temple and its walls a memorial and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that will not be cut off."

She is a member of God's family. Her faith is strong. As her friend I have watched her walk through the valley of death more times than I care to remember. Through that, and the things she has experienced are above measure for most of us, she has continued to walk in integrity, in the love of Christ and more so she has been able to give it to others. Her name, though it has changed a few times has still remained to be Daughter of the King. She has a name that no one can take away from her. She has the name Jesus to trump all the other names that she has carried over the years.

Sometimes our circumstances can seem overwhelming. Sometimes our needs outweigh what anyone can physically provide. But we at those times call upon the name of Jesus and he is quick to come in with us and walk through whatever circumstances that we may face.

1 Corinthians:2-9 "To the church of God in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be holy, together with all those everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ—their Lord and ours:Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way—in all your speaking and in all your knowledge— because our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you. Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful."

Lord, today I come and ask you to love on my friends. All of my friends who are struggling right now with their earthly fathers. Lord, I thank you that you as a Father gave your only son to give us the right to approach you as our Daddy. Lord, you know all things, but you are more interested in our hearts. Give us soft hearts Lord to be open to your love, to continue to share that with the people around us. Let us not get bitter with men who fathered us yet didn't know how to be Daddy's. Lord, let us love them as their daughters, to honor them with our mouths and our actions and to speak blessings and not cursing over them all the days of our lives. Lord, thank you that in your divine wisdom you knew that if they were perfect we wouldn't need you. Thank you for your perfection Lord, your everlasting love and your ability to fill our buckets of need with more than a spoon. I give you all the honor and the glory forever, In your Son's name I pray. Amen.

PJC, if you are reading this know that I love you and that I admire you for the strength you find in Christ through every hurdle you have jumped. You are so precious to me and I am praying for you and yours.~JL

Rest

Today I choose to live a day of integrity.
Today I choose to not get offended and to forgive quickly.
Today I choose to be a loving mother and an encouraging wife.
Today I choose to walk forward in my relationship with Christ.
Today I choose to forgive myself the way that Christ has forgiven me.
Today I choose to walk in the joy of the Lord.
Today I choose to humble myself.
Today I choose to rest in his presence.

Humble pie is better with friends...

Today I choose to live a day of integrity.
Today I choose to not get offended and to forgive quickly.
Today I choose to be a loving mother and an encouraging wife.
Today I choose to walk forward in my relationship with Christ.
Today I choose to forgive myself the way that Christ has forgiven me.
Today I choose to walk in the joy of the Lord.
Today I choose to humble myself.

This morning as I ponder my weekend I think that I have found something else to work on long term. I believe it's an every day crucification of self that takes us closer to God and to his righteousness.

Luke 9:23-25 says "Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?"

What does it really mean to deny yourself? In my experience this weekend it is still the comparison game. I went with my old church on a conference this weekend. In my own pride, I made sure to dress just a few notches above what I expected everyone else to wear. The only one that I made uncomfortable was myself. Climbing to the top of the arena in my high heeled boots. I was thankful that I didn't fall and I never complained about how much it was killing me to do it. But I looked good. Why was that so important to me? I want everyone to believe that I have it all together. Appearances are everything, or are they?

The Lord gave me grace for the weekend. He looked down on me, his princess, his daughter and I am sure that he was giggling at me as I climbed up to an altitude that shouldn't be allowable to watch the people look like ants on the platform. In His strength I was able to face old hurts and move forward, even in my boots, and my starched shirts while everyone else was in their Crocs and jeans. Pride is such a horrible thing. It really is.

So I get home from this wonderful conference, I laughed so hard it hurt. I spent time with my mothers (my mother and my mother in law - you'd think that would invoke humility but it didn't) and had a really great time of resting in the company of 20,000 other Christian women. Tired, aching feet (those boots, I should throw them out) and my family takes the brunt of the lack of sleep I had at the hotel. I was on my A game at the conference but then I come home and give my family the worst of me.

James 4:10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

When you don't humble yourself it can and will lead to this great process invented by God himself. It's called humiliation. God again, loving me in his divine goodness waited until I was among friends to bring me back to the place of submission. That's his grace and his provision. He could have made me trip in those awesome boots in the arena in front of all of those thousands of women but he didn't. He let me come home to my place of comfort and experience it with people whom love me.

For the last few months my husband and I have been teaching a class on Boundaries in Marriage. For those of you who don't know, when you teach you usually learn more than the participants. It's as if God really wants you to get the lessons that you teach. Its the whole Moses had to live in the desert for 40 years before he could lead the Israelites through the deserts for 40 years ideology. So, last night we were supposed to host a dinner at our home for our class participants. Another chance to prove that I have it all together. Cleaned the house, prepared the food, then the inevitable humiliation lesson had to be learned. Some would call it an attack on our marriage because we were doing something worthwhile. I know in this circumstance it was nothing short of the hand of God stepping in to teach my household a few lessons that couldn't be taught any other way.

One hour before the arrival of everyone, in an instant - it all went haywire. I don't know about anyone else but the last hour before company arrives I tend to get a little overwhelmed (aka insane). As I was trying to teach (ok, that made me laugh just thinking about that word), I was nothing short of yelling at my sons about the fine art of cleaning out the litter box, my husband jumped into my insanity. Isn't it sweet of him to not want me to suffer alone? Now there are 2 insane people running around the house, the yelling continued until he looked at me and said "Cancel it!". Then in his attempt to get off the merry go round of insanity got in his truck and left. I made one phone call. Told this one participant what was going on and that I needed him to make the phone calls for me. Still not getting the whole "humble yourself" lesson. Oh how I wish I wasn't so slow sometimes. Well my husband came back in the door 15 minutes later and we were able to talk, to talk with the children and we have decided that we were just going to have some good family time.

At the appointed time of gathering, people started showing up. I thought that I was going to get out of this without having to share my lesson with others. I really thought (how silly of me) that I was going to be able to keep up the facade that everything in our home operates without instance and we are the perfect little family. So as a few of them showed up I had to be honest and tell them what had transpired over the last 2 hours and ask their forgiveness for my pretense. As the left they all said that they would pray for me and my husband.

God was so good to do it with people who know us. Who have known us for years and were able in their actions to tell us it was okay. That they didn't expect us to be perfect and that it helps them to know that even the teacher falls sometimes.

Lord, I thank you for your lessons. For your love that is so grand that even in our weakness, our pride and in our best boots, you love us enough to get us back on track to you and your throne. Lord, this morning I sit in awe of you once again, in your goodness and your overwhelming grace for those that love you. Lord, forgive me for my pride, and as I walk down this path, I pray that you continue to teach me the lessons so that I can always find you. I give you all the power and the glory. In Jesus mighty humble name, Amen.

Do my ears look like trash cans?

Today I choose to live a day of integrity.
Today I choose to not get offended and to forgive quickly.
Today I choose to be a loving mother and an encouraging wife.
Today I choose to walk forward in my relationship with Christ.
Today I choose to forgive myself the way that Christ has forgiven me.
Today I choose to walk in the joy of the Lord.

Romans 10:17 says, "So then faith comes by hearing..."

What am I listening to? What am I putting my faith in?

Am I listening to my friends and families woes to the point that I am putting faith in their injustices? Am I picking up their offenses or judging others by their words. If my friend comes to me and talks bad about her husband do I not judge him through her eyes and then take her offense as if it is my own?

We need to protect our ears. We are supposed to be full of the joy of the Lord, because the joy of the Lord is our strength. Is our strength being washed out by the trash that other people want to put on us? Out of our own need to be needed and wanted in the lives around us what are we letting other people do to our own faith. I am sorry but if I listen to everything going on around me it's hard to keep the faith that God works all things for good.

Circumstances are just circumstances. I know that I have walked through some devastating places, I have hurt, I have cried a river of tears, I have been angry at God. Circumstances grow us up. However, if we take our circumstances and focus on them, talk solely about them, then they become our sole focus. There is a difference between truth and reality. Reality is where we live, truth is the Word of God and the promises that He made to us. They are true no matter what our reality is. An example would be, "We have no money", but the Word says in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Does that entitle me to live the prosperity message that's so abundant right now, no, but what it does is give me hope for the future. Today may be the worst place I have ever walked, but the Lord says that he has plans for my future. I chose to cling to that promise.

What are we listening to? Yesterday we talked about our own thoughts. Today lets continue to think about what we are listening to from not only ourselves but others. Share your burdens with others, listen to them as they pour their heart out about how they feel, but don't let the trash come into the conversation. If they are coming to us for prayer, for ministry, as a mentor, as a friend to seek God's will that is wonderful, if they are just coming with their defilement to add only that to our lives then that is not okay.

Lord, I love you and I pray that you give me clean ears. That even as I travel through my life that I will be able to know the difference between defilement and someone coming to seek you through me. Lord, today I give you my ears to hear the cries of your children, I pray that you will give me the wisdom to know one from the other. Let me have a willing heart to do your work Lord but let my faith rest in you today and every day for eternity. In Jesus mighty name. Amen.

More than Enough

Today I choose to live a day of integrity.
Today I choose to not get offended and to forgive quickly.
Today I choose to be a loving mother and an encouraging wife.
Today I choose to walk forward in my relationship with Christ.
Today I choose to forgive myself the way that Christ has forgiven me.

So what are you berating yourself over today? Come on all of you cape wearers you know that despite the fact that you can multi task 40 things at one time that the whole time you are doing that you have this little thought in the back of your mind of how you have failed at something. Let's talk about stinking thinking this morning.

2 Corinthians 2:5 states "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

So what does the word every mean? Pick up every toy, not a few, but every. The American Heritage Dictionary says "Constituting each and all members of a group without exception." That means that all thoughts that go through our mind need to be examined next to the Word. If it is contrary to what God's Word says then the thought needs to go. This is the time to use the curse words "Shut Up". When faced with bombarding thoughts of torment, or guilt, shame, condemnation then simply say "Shut Up, I take this thought captive in the name of my Lord, Jesus Christ." I can get these wild imaginations of what someone else is thinking about me, and the truth of the matter usually the more I think about what they are thinking about me, the less thought they have given to me. When the thoughts seems to take over, I do say to myself, "JenniLee, you know what the Word says, this isn't lining up with that, choose this day whom you will serve, yourself or God." Then I crawl out of Jesus' throne and take my place of submission once again to his divine goodness and quit serving my needs and again start worshiping Jesus.

Greg Hinnant in his book "Walking in His Ways" puts it this way...
"To take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ we must do three things.
First, we must screen our thoughts, arresting or holding any the Spirit deems questionable.
Second, we must then test them, to see if they agree with God's Word. (See 1 John 4:1.)
Third, we must "cast down" (quickly reject, drop, quench) every thought that does not meet the test. Especially dangerous are "imaginations," which are day dreams and suppositions (ideas we do not know to be facts); "high things," which are proud thoughts of rebellion, vanity or unbelief; and also "every thought" of despising others for their faults, real or imagined.

Personally, I would add myself or others in that last sentence. We usually judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions, however, just like we wouldn't do it unto the lesser of these, what if we are the "lesser of these" today?

If we don't forgive ourselves, if we hold ourselves accountable for every mistake, every bad decision, if we walk around in complete forgiveness to everyone else but can't do it for ourselves then Jesus died in vain. Is our Superhero cape worth more than the blood of Jesus? Are we willing to have it stained with His blood? Was His death not enough to pay for all sins?

Lord, today I come to you to ask your forgiveness. Lord, before you I lay myself and my unforgiveness of myself. Lord, the cost you paid is more than enough to cover my sin. You have cast my sins as far as the east is from the west and Lord today I lay that unforgiveness at your feet and ask for your forgiveness. I am a precious daughter, a princess in the Kingdom because of who you are and not by anything I could do on my own. I repent, seek forgiveness and turn my back to, this thought pattern. Lord give me the ears to hear your Word. Amplify your whispers in my busy ears so that I can hear them Lord. Lord, I chose this day to follow you. I give you all the power and the glory in Jesus' might name. Amen.

Keeping the main thing the main thing...

Today I choose to live a day of integrity.
Today I choose to not get offended and to forgive quickly.
Today I choose to be a loving mother and an encouraging wife.
Today I choose to walk forward in my relationship with Christ.

So many times we try to accomplish more than God has put on our plates. Last week I had a friend relay to me that my plate was full. That it was bigger than a platter and it looked more like a lazy susan. I know that there is a lot that I am involved in...my life seems to take on a life of it's own when I am not diligent to keep an eye on what is put on me. Like a lazy susan it can spin out of control. I have to resubmit my calendar to God it seems on an hourly basis. My favorite question right now for Him seems to be "Lord, what is my role in this?". He has been faithful to tell me. Sometimes praying for the ministry is enough. Sometimes I don't have to put my hand to the plow, I just have to lend my faith to the cause.

My duties right now include homeschooling the kids and ministering to the needs of my family. The main thing needs to be the main thing ~ anything beyond that is extracurricular. There are things that I have to do to help my husband with the business, with the investments, but my main responsible is to lift him up in prayer, to encourage him, and to do him good and not harm all the days of my life - showing respect and honor all along the way.

Galatians 6:2 says "Carry each other's burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." I have learned that there is a difference between burdens (crisis) and knapsacks (daily responsibilities). In the book Boundaries by Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend this is the recurring theme. There are times of triage when it is an emergency, and there are times of long term care when you can schedule it. The ability to tell the difference is the key. I have a heart to serve others, to help, to be a blessing. However, this can not be done at the sacrifice of my own duties and God given responsibilities. There are emergencies. There are times when it's a "right now" moment. There are responsibilities that can be rescheduled in times of crisis, but not every situation that crosses my path is a crisis.

"But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'" Luke 10:33-35

Even in the story of the Good Samaritan he stopped long enough to do triage, to get the help the person needed but he was diligent to get back to his duty and purpose in passing through in the first place. Many would have considered that a crisis and put their entire life on hold, dropped everything that they were doing to minister to this man. I think that we need to be very clear in what our responsibilities are in every situation. What worked yesterday might not work today. The battle plan is different every day. Just ask Joshua. Some days we pull out the sword and sometimes we just have to march and shout.

Lord, I love you and I give you all the power, the honor and the glory. Thank you for today, the gift of the present. Let me not take your gift of time for granted, let me honor you in my daily decisions on my commitments and my time. Lord let your plan be my plan. Give me the ears to hear your voice and grant me a willing spirit to do your will Lord. In Jesus mighty name I pray.