We can see if we can get 1 year orders... or we can make long term plans. Well... as most of you know my husband and I are a bit on the adventuresome side and are open to change, our children are resilient and always open to new ideas. Or revisit old ones. We spent the day today at the family farm. There is a twinkle in Ande's eye when he goes out there. My children... their faces glow like firefly butts in July. I know I am a city slicker. I know that I love Starbucks, and pedicures and new shoes... but I think I am going to have to give in. Really. Adam and Julia spent the day in the creek trying to catch salamanders. Hours of no bickering... something about the sound of the wind in the trees and babbling of the creek silences their arguements.
It's a small house, about 900 sq ft total. But there are 10 acres, 4 flat farm land, 6 acres of mountains to get lost in, play in, build forts and fairy houses in. 10 acres for the dogs, and the cats, and the livestock to be determined at a later date. There is room to do so much, and there is quiet and peace and a chance to hear God without the fire station across the street and the train down the hill. I believe I will get to do some real writing. I will get to really educate my wonderful kids, and watch them flourish without televisions, and distractions other than butterflies and corn growing in rows.
Is it me? Not even close. I grew up in a large city, not a mile from an interstate that hummed me to sleep in the spring and the fall when the windows were open. I grew up with malls, and drive thrus and modern conviences. Maybe that's why my soul rests when we are out there. My body is in constant anxiety. My flesh jumps at every sudden movement. God is working on my fears. Believe you me. My mother in law today... Lord, I know you had a good laugh at the two of us. She found something dead with a long tail in pot in the cabinet and proceeded to chase me out of the house with it asking me what I thought it could be with such a long tail. I am yelling her name as I am running out the front door. Finally I stop and look and it was a salamander. What a bunch of loons. We laughed, and cried... it was a great day.
My inlaws are full of stories when we are out there. Ande in high school and his shinanigans that the kids can't get enough of. Her struggles on the farm when Ande's Dad had to work out of state and her and Ande were there all alone. She tells me stories of her Mom and Dad as we find platters and bowls that they gave her when she got married more than 50 years ago. My father in law gets the boys and heads to the barn and shows them all of his treasures. I swear he just keeps the stuff so that he can have stories to tell them. We eat dinner together... we act like a family and it's wonderful, for Ande and the kids... and I.
So, I am guessing we have a plan. We have explored so many options and they all seem to not be feasible... or the doors have been shut. This is it, for now. Check back tomorrow... it is likely to change.
Lord, I just thank you for a great day. For planting a vision in Ande's heart, for giving him hope, and the ability to see things I can't. Lord, I pray for you to change my heart, to line me up if this is your will for our family. Lord, I am willing to be willing. I trust you, and I trust that you will work out my fears. Lord, thank you for Isaiah 41:10. I cling to your promise. Thank you Father. I love you...