Trusting God...

"I say to you, do not worry about your life . . . ." Our Lord says to be careful only about one thing-our relationship to Him. But our common sense shouts loudly and says, "That is absurd, I must consider how I am going to live, and I must consider what I am going to eat and drink." Jesus says you must not. Beware of allowing yourself to think that He says this while not understanding your circumstances. Jesus Christ knows our circumstances better than we do, and He says we must not think about these things to the point where they become the primary concern of our life. Whenever there are competing concerns in your life, be sure you always put your relationship to God first. ~Oswald Chambers

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. ~Matthew 6:30-33 (The Message)

Why is this so hard for us? Why is it so hard to trust God with our daily lives? I have been struggling in the land of transition so long that I am beginning to feel like the Israelites in the desert. Transition is hard. It's not knowing and not understanding what is going on around you or even knowing where you are going to end up.

This has been an extremely hard season for me personally. I have like the Israelites, yelled at God for better provision, I have mumbled, complained, questioned and blamed my leaders. I have prayed for answers, begged for plans, and have kept more negative thoughts that I would like to admit. I have secluded myself from the ones that I knew would speak God to me. I ran from the church, my friends and yes, even my family. I just wanted a map, a direction, so that I could know that I was moving in the right direction. Because "I" thought I had some control over it. I have learned, albeit ever so slowly, that I am out of control. I do not have the ability in my humanness to figure out God or His ways. Isaiah 55:8 tells us that, but do we truly understand? I don't. I know that I don't understand His ways.

I am tired of trying to figure them out. Worn out, emotionally, physically, spiritually. Although I am getting my footing back by getting back into the Word, the church and surrounding myself with people who draw God out of me.

You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world. Matthew 5:8 MSG

I want to see God in the outside world. I want to trust that His hand is working to my good, I want to trust Jeremiah 29:11 with all of my heart. But somehow, with the shame filter, the pain filter, the life experience filter in place I have found that trust is just not something that I do, well or otherwise. I have a responsibility to trust God, I have a responsibility to love God. It's really all He asks of me. But how does a non-truster become a truster?

I learned to trust a system, if I follow these particular steps, THEN, I will be good enough. Well that theory was blown to bits in the last 2 years. I was doing the plan, working the plan, my star was beginning to show. BAM! Nothing. So the system isn't the answer. People, if I invest enough in people, if I pour enough of God filtered through me into people, THEN, I will be good enough. The truth is, I will never be good enough. Because if I could be good enough than I wouldn't be need a Savior.

So, by faith, I decide to trust my Savior. I decide to trust my loving God that loves me enough to temper me by using my circumstances to turn me back to Him. My faith has been tested and in the end all I have is my faith, trust, and love for my Father, His Son, and His Comforter. All of whom have done nothing but taught me how to trust them.

Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got! Deuteronomy 6:5 The Message.

Yes Sir.

Rest...

The apostles gathered together with Jesus; and they reported to Him all that they had done and taught. And He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.” (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat). They went away in the boat to a secluded place by themselves. ~Mark 6:30-32

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” ~Matthew 11:28-30

Today...

When I first started blogging a few years ago I always used to start my posts with Today I choose statements. I gave that up not too long into the process and today I would choose to bring it back. I heard a song in church today that appears has been out for ever. It's nothing over the top, I am a Christian rocker and love what I can blare... but this was a quiet song, something that doesn't usually appeal to me at all. Singing it in worship and then again at the end of the service I just had tears pouring down my face.

May it bless you, the way that it blessed me. I already talked about the power of the tongue this week so I won't revisit that here, but there are some statements in this piece that just cut me to the core.

Be blessed, and be a blessing.

The Power of the Tongue...

To any of you that know me IRL and to those of you who have ventured through 4 years of blogs, you may know that the power of the tongue is something I feel very strongly about. I am often invited to speak on that subject alone and it's one that just gets my goat when people fly off at the mouth with no regard to consequences of what they are saying.

Isn't it amazing that a subject that I "know" so well, even in my pride of thinking "I know all there is to know on this subject", that the all knowing One... knows that you need a new lesson & a maybe a less than gentle reminder to guard your heart because out of it's abundance is what comes out of your mouth.

"You have minds like a snake pit! How do you suppose what you say is worth anything when you are so foul-minded? It's your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard. Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation." Matthew 12:34-37 (The Message)

I am a participant in a women's bible study (I am not leading... and I am more than okay with that) and for the past week of our study we have been doing some expository digging into key scriptures that deal with our words. As I went through my lesson there was a few scriptures that really spoke to me but I really wanted to share one in particular.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:29-32 NIV

I also like the more "wordy" Amplified version of this verse:

Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God [do not offend or vex or sadden Him], by Whom you were sealed (marked, branded as God's own, secured) for the day of redemption (of final deliverance through Christ from evil and the consequences of sin). Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind). And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.

As I looked at that verse it seemed to really makes sense to me. There is a process there.

1. Don't let anything foul or polluted come out of your mouth. The Amplified adds "ever". Ever? Even when someone drives less than desirably in front of me in traffic. I am personally working on this and my new out loud mantra has become "I will be a blesser and not a curser all the days of my life", typically at the top of my lungs.

2. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit by holding onto the hurts. I say Tony Nolan speak last week and he gave the example of a boy holding onto a penny, when God wants to trade the penny for a $50 bill. My bitterness, indignation, wrath, resentment, quarreling, slander grieves the Holy Spirit who wants to be my comforter but can't when I am wrapped in a cloak of these things. He literally wants to trade me my pains for his comfort. Seems like a no brainer but has taken me 36 years to even begin to do.

3. Then "And become". As I guard my mouth, as I lay down my Louis Vitton, and trade it for the down comforter of the Holy Spirit, THEN, we get to be useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven us.

You can't be tenderhearted with a broken heart, you can't be tenderhearted when you are so full of pain that being tenderhearted would kill you. Tenderhearted comes from reckoning your pain with His and realizing that He took on pain here in this world to deliver us from ours. He didn't come so that we could "cope". Deliverance is achieved through death and resurrection.

Lord, I willingly trade the penny of my pain for the $50 worth of deliverance.

So if the Son liberates you [makes you free men], then you are really and unquestionably free. John 8:36

Be a blessing...

Walk in your deliverance.

Lord, I believe...

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Mark 9:24

I am holding on... for dear life. I am screaming your name. I have come to understand that I have exalted my problems above you. I have allowed them to put a fog between you and I. I have allowed pain to get in the way, instead of letting you take it away. I have struggled. I have done it every way I know how, except to get back to my foundation... which has and always will be YOU!

Thank you for leaving the 99 to come find this one. Thank you for planting me somewhere safe and for allowing me to trust your church again. Lord, use me, my testimony, my life, for your glory. Don't allow all of this to be for nothing. I trust you more than I trust me.

I put the pain down and put on Your full armor.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Ephesians 6:10-18

I love that this verse starts with the word "Finally". Just kind of says it all...

In Him,

Endurance...

If insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, then what is endurance? Endurance is obedience unto death. Endurance is tenacity with a revelation in it's teeth. Endurance is running after you are exhausted, fighting when it appears you have lost, it's standing back up after the beating of a lifetime.

When I think about endurance, I can vision Jesus is The Passion Movie; hands tied as the centurions beat him relentlessly. I can't even endure to watch... then the carrying of the cross to Golgotha. Jesus withstood more as a man, then I will even fathom. Physically the last hours of his life here on earth were horrible. He literally was a dead man walking.

Insanity is trying it your own way, consistently. Insanity, is finding yourself in the same place over and over and not changing your reaction. There is no growth in insanity. It's like riding the Merry Go Round. You just hold on and go around and around. Endurance builds muscles as you bear weight, you might not go far but you are able to make progress in baby steps by putting one foot in front of the other. Insanity is pulling the covers over your head. Endurance is looking the day head on, knowing you might die, but doing it anyway. Endurance takes courage. It takes faith in a God whose 'love endures forever'. It takes hope in a better tomorrow.