Taking it to the Cross

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”- Romans 12:2

Your personal convictions [on such matters]--exercise [them] as in God's presence, keeping them to yourself [striving only to know the truth and obey His will]. Blessed (happy, to be envied) is he who has no reason to judge himself for what he approves [who does not convict himself by what he chooses to do]. - Romans 14:22 AMP

I am beginning to believe more and more that God allows Satan to bring things sin to our lives to teach us to take them to the cross. He wants it to be our knee jerk reaction. It doesn't mean that you don't get hurt, it doesn't mean that you won't have to pay the consequences of your sin, but when you purpose yourself to take it to the cross the pain changes. It goes from being the pain of watching it grow to being the pain of having it removed.

The sun is shining in my dining room this morning as if right on me. Like I can see daylight for the first time through all of the debris and dust of these last few months. I truly believe that God has given me a vision of what this looks like. When it hits, we go into survival mode. We blame others around us. We want to make it about everyone else. But in times of war, bombs and other weapons formed against us cause collateral damage. However, we can either be the victim or we can take the time for ourselves to be healed. Searching for God's face even among the pain, the confusion, the tears.

I want to give you a visual. With the cross in the middle. When you are carrying your own stuff, with the tears and the bags, and the ripped clothes. You have just been in a war. You are battered you are bruised. In some cases, you have an elephant chained to your leg. You struggle to get to the cross, you call others to help you carry your burdens because this time they are just more than you can carry by yourself. You get to the cross and you lay those burdens at the cross. Jesus covers them with His blood.

There is a transferance that happens at the cross. Jesus hands us hope, he gives us an extra portion of grace. He floods us with His love. He shines the sun on us to remind us that He sees our pain but that he has given us the tools to begin to eat the elephant one bite at a time. I always thought that once you brought it to the cross that it was over. Well, some of it is over, but some of it continues. The man next to Jesus on the cross asked for forgiveness, Jesus forgave him, gave him grace, love and hope. However, He didn't take him down off that cross. There are circumstances to the sin. There are still lessons that must be learned. You can't leave it at the cross...for true healing you have to dig through the box. Get bloody. You can't leave in fear of the blood. You need to live in fear of not having the blood.

Because when you walk past the cross and back into the world...if you didn't learn the lesson, it you didn't get bloody, you tend to attract the same sin. Again and again and again. The blood on that sin is the vaccine. So that when you see that again, you are protected. You know what it tastes likes, what is smells like. You have the blood on your hands to grab it by the neck and say, I have fought you before, I know how to have victory here. That's the greatest gift Jesus ever gives us. The ability to slay our own giants and then walk around carrying it's head and showing it in the village. This giant has tormented me long enough. Today is the day that I had victory.

You are able to live in freedom because the fear of it reappearing is gone. Your mind is renewed, lines up with God's and you are able to stop judging yourself as less than. The beach ball has broken the surface and you realize this isn't something that you have to continue to control..that is when you feel the ease of the pain. That's it when for the first time in long time you breathe deeply and realize that you are loved unconditionally.

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, I love you all. All as one and all independently. Father, I thank you for loving me enough to teach me the lesson. For taking the time to remind me of your love by discipling me. By placing your hand on me and saying honey, we need to deal with this...you my beautiful girl deserve better. Jesus, oh Jesus. Oh the nights you heard my heart even as all I could do was call out your name. Thank you for the cross, for meeting me there, for the hope, the love, the extravagant grace, for the forgiveness. You are the lover of my soul and my husband and I look forward to an eternity in your presence. Holy Spirit, thank you for coming, for enveloping me in your arms. Your comfort has been my life safer. The peace that you bring is beyond understanding. Your ability to hear my heart, to know my desires, and to fill me with such love. I am eternally grateful. I am a blessed woman because of my relationship with you. All of you. And is it through you, and in the name of Jesus I say amen.