Here We Go Again...

I hate packing. Hate it. Abhor it. Detest it with every fiber of my being. Who knew how much stuff we could accumulate in a short six months.  I say short, but in reality it's been a very long time.  My husband likes to discount the amount of time I have been doing this on my own because we were able to see each other a few times over the time.  Saying that the separation didn't really start until he actually left here the last time.  I would beg to differ.

There are traces of us all around this house that need to be sorted, packed and donated.  The goodbyes have already begun.  I hate goodbyes. Honestly.  Packing and goodbyes tend to go hand in hand.  I hate them both. I hate them for my kids and their friends, and I hate them for my family and my own friends.  Me, well I tend to want to say that we will meet again.  Not knowing when is the hard part.

We have spent the morning trying to gather our things.  My kids have outgrown two large bags of clothes since we have been here.  My daughter the pack rat has gathered two large bags of trash.  I spent the morning going through my bathroom bottles collection... its amazing to me how many miracles I have accumulated under the sink and yet I pretty much look the same. Well, except I am tan and down 15 pounds. *giggle*

I have spent six months living with my parents, six months integrating into a new church, six months homeschooling and balancing the checkbook, six months trying to make the best memories for my kids during this time.  I have been flexible for beach days and play dates.  I have watched my children build friendships and have welcomed a lot of people both old and new into my life.  Now, again, I find myself trying to figure out how to take our lives and pack them into a trailer and my Excursion and make my way out of here.  My heart breaks, but I do have anticipation about the next leg of our journey.  There are not enough words or time to say how much the people here have changed my life.  How they took this little family that was orphaned and left naked and alone and wrapped them in their love.  There is no way to say thank you and there is definitely no way to just say goodbye.

Next Sunday, we will travel back to NC Jed Clampett style. Three kids, two large dogs and I, driving over 400 miles to a place that we would rather not be, to make yet another pit stop on our adventure.  It it my hope that we will remain in the memory making business while we are there with our friends and our family. It is my prayer that we will leave behind any traces of heartbreak and only take with us the love of those precious few that are still willing to love this little family through a drastic transition.

My mottos for this week:

I will be a blessing and not a cursing though I walk through the valley of packing and then moving.

Please God give me the endurance to do the 'what' and submit to knowledge that you will handle the 'how'.

Psalm 23 The Message
God, my shepherd! I don't need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.

Even when the way goes through
Death Valley,
I'm not afraid
when you walk at my side.
Your trusty shepherd's crook
makes me feel secure.

You serve me a six-course dinner
right in front of my enemies.
You revive my drooping head;
my cup brims with blessing.

Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I'm back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.

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