The day I realized... I was FREE

Until you have lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is. -Margaret Mitchell

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

I had been feeling so unproductive. I kept thinking that I was sitting on the bench just watching everyone else, until I realized, that I truly didn't need to be apart of the hussle. There is no one that I am striving to impress. I am comfortable in my own skin. Ande last night said I was more beautiful now than ever, more confident than ever, and that in 15 years of marriage this is his favorite me. What is that? Why is that?

I truly believe, that I have been unburdened of a yoke of slavery. I have learned to say no so that I can fully say yes. I used to say yes because that's what was expected of me. This week, I said a rather large no. But the things that I said yes to, what a beautiful site they were. If you aren't careful, everyone's crisis becomes your driving force. I don't need a driving force, I need a quiet day with my beautiful little girl, listening to some encouraging music. I need a day baking in the kitchen, just because I want to and not waiting for a birthday or an event to have a reason to do that which I love.

I had allowed myself to be put on this fast track to ministry... I was the one you called when you needed a system built, or to know that something would be handled down to the most minute detail. I could get it done and add glitter and sparkle. I got a lot of phone calls. I headed a lot of projects. I built a lot of systems. I was too busy, to be a good wife, or an attentive mother. My priorities are so much different now.

Now when the phone rings, those who used to expect me to pick up the ball and run with it are shocked when I say no. I saw somewhere that maturity is the need to not explain yourself. I don't have to give anyone a reason for a yes or a no. There is no obligation. When I learned to say no, I could look at my little girl and say yes. Yes, at this moment in time, this quiet afternoon, you are more important than anyone else in the world. Yes, I value our time together, and I don't have to run off to save the world in order to feel like I am accomplishing something.

Thank you Lord, for letting me fight through the nothingness of this life, to find your true passion for me. I give everything that I am for you... and I enjoy every moment of your breath in my lungs. I continue to move closer to the purity of you.

You give yourself and take away the barriers... I love you.