I have been feeling a little overwhelmed, a little out of step with this new life. Having a bit of a pity party. I love Texas, my Dad coming to visit, my childhood friend and her family coming. My day to day life isn't quite what I expected it to be. I went searching for some encouragement and that is the verse that God gave me.
My confidence is wavering, not in Christ, but in myself. I haven't found any like minded people to hang out with. Most of the guys in Ande's unit aren't married and if they are, they are going through a divorce or are wanting to go through a divorce. Stripper girlfriends abound and I am left wondering what my role is in this. I know that God has planted me here, along side Ande for a reason, I am just struggling to find my niche. I don't know enough about active duty Army to really step into any roles of leadership in the Family Readiness Group, we haven't found a church yet to be our home while we are here. I just feel like a fish out of water.
There doesn't seem to be anything to challenge me. Maybe that's what's wrong. I don't have any new books to read and have resorted to reading some things that I have read before just to bide some time. I am reading A Midsummer's Night Dream by Shakespeare just to read something other than the 100's of theology books that I have already read. Would love to find another ladies bible study to find some fellowship but at this point all of my friends live on my Facebook page. I feel like a missionary into a foreign country. There are very few believers and if they are believers they aren't living it out loud.
So, happening upon God's word for me, I am encouraged to keep my head up, to keep fighting the good fight and trust that when He is ready, He will let me know. I am thinking that it might be time to pick my classes back up and finish my bachelors in theology. Might be the spark that I am looking for. I am going to begin praying for God to bring friends into my life. He has them out there... I trust Him to arrange the meeting.
So I look forward to the future and know that God has given me this down time to recooperate and prepare for the next step. I am thankful for the time with my family all under one roof, our gorgeous home and my new fancy shmancy red couch and loveseat. We also have a new addition to the family. An adorable little kitten that my daughter has been begging for. We have each other, we have our God and we are blessed abundantly. So for tonight I am going to take off my pity party hat, take a hot bath, drink some tension tamer tea and enjoy some Shakespeare before bedtime.
Be blessed then be a blessing. Love always wins.
All my love from TX!!!
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