Life... and other thoughts that just consume time.

I went visiting my past this morning. I hate when that happens. It's no longer the shame that consumes me as much as regret. I just wish I had made different decisions. I look back and realize I was so eaten up... with so many ungodly beliefs that I just wallowed in sin. Not that I don't still sin... but now maybe I am more aware, more conscious of my motivators.

I don't regret the things that made me, me. I regret the stupid things that just hurt people. I look back at pictures and don't like the emptiness I see in my eyes. I am thankful for a God, that delivered me from myself.

I am thankful for teachings on reconciliation, and forgiveness. I am thankful for a new definition and a new name for myself. I am thankful for a Savior, and a Redeemer. I am thankful that I am not defined by others opinion of me. I am thankful that only God Himself has the power over my destiny. That He trumps all others. He wins, Love never fails, and His word never returns void. He uses people with a past.

I am humbled that He would choose me. Call my name in the darkness and have the patience for me to crawl out towards Him. Just a slight movement and He came and saved me. He has laid so much love in my heart for others. So much grace, and mercy. Which I never had before. He wants to meet all of us face to face in the tunnels of darkness we hide in. In His eyes, we are all His children. I just find that to be the most awesome thing.