After further investigation she revealed that she was afraid that someone was going to bomb Daddy at school. Oh, how I didn't prepare her for this. What if he goes to Iraq? Her father and I have been so wrapped up in solving other issues that I didn't take the time to ease her fears. I don't know that I did a great job last night into the late night. It is my defense mechanism to make them laugh when I get pressed into a corner. I had to quit trying to make her laugh and let her empty her heart. We talked about Daddy just being at a school. We talked about him being safe and how right now we have to enjoy the peace of knowing that he is okay. There will be times when we won't have that peace. There will be times when he is walking face on into danger, and I promised her, then the boys, that I would be honest with them when those times come. We labeled it "Code Red".
We also committed to one another not to let the anxiety of "Code Red" creep into our lives until we were actually in "Code Red". I don't want them living their lives in a constant fear of "Code Red", so I would advise them in the following manner. Days like today, where there is no danger, we have labeled it "Code Green", that means life goes on as normal, we pray for Daddy to know our love and that he doesn't feel alone. "Code Yellow", means that we start praying for Ande's strength and we examine our own hearts for anxiety and pray about those things as they creep in. "Code Red" is reserved for those intense moments when he could face imminent danger. Anxiety is expected, we are going to pray for his safety, for God's wisdom for him and any other promptings given by the Holy Spirit. We are also going to pray for each other intensely. For God to strengthen us and to give us peace that passes all understanding. So, that system, is now in place.
Then I had a conversation with her about how her Daddy is a hero to more people than just her. I reminded her of his love for her and that no one can compete for her position as his only little girl. I explained his heart to protect us and the country that he loves and that every time he puts that uniform on he does it for us... and our future generations. She has never been with public with Daddy in a uniform and was quite pleased when I told her that there have been times that I have been with him that men have walked up and shook his hand and just told him thank you. That her Daddy was a hero and that she needed to be proud of him. Then I made sure that she understood that he didn't do this because we weren't enough, that he didn't walk away from her, he wasn't abandoning her, he wasn't rejecting her in anyway. He was doing this for her. Poor little thing. She just missed her Daddy and kicking his butt on the XBox.
We have just finished up reading the book of Joshua a few weeks ago and I asked her what were the words that we read over and over again, what are the first words of God most of the time when he talks to us... "Fear not, Do not be afraid". Then I told her, that courage is doing it scared... and that crying was a natural response. Then she curled up in my arms and feel to sleep. I love having the opportunity to minister to my kids. I love sharing a very real God in a very real way.
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”- Jeremiah 29:11-13
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3
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