We're Packing... and not boxes...

My sister-in-law and I

Yeah so, I grew up in a house knowing that there were guns.  I knew they were there but I never saw them.  Well except for Friday nights when my Dad would inevitably clean his when a guy would be comin' a callin' on his daughter.

I was petrified of guns.  Didn't like them, they were weapons of death.  I was more liberal and open minded (maybe that's where I lost my mind...have to ponder that - I was so open minded it fell out) - anyway, I will admit that I voted for Billy in 1992.  What did I know?  I was 19 and my only experince with guns were knowing that they had murdered people I cared about.  I smoked weird stuff then... who knows what I was thinking legalize marijuana and outlaw guns.  Who was that girl???

So about a year ago I read this bumper sticker that said, "If guns kill people then spoons make them fat".  Somehow that just made sense to me.  Now, I know some heat carrying women, you know who you are ;), and I always thought that they were a little on the "Chicken Little -the sky is falling" mentality.  However either I got this by osmosis...by just hanging out with them or it's a fear that I truly just don't have anymore.  I love to shoot.

I will be the first to admit there is still some fear.  I still shoot the first shot in my clip with my eyes closed.  Trying to familiarize myself with the noise and the feel again.  There are nine more bullets in the clip I trust that one of them will hit my target.  I am still working on it.  I have come a long way in just a few months.  

What I know is that my 11 year old son last night had a conversation with me that led me to believe that he doesn't have the same fear of guns his momma does.  He said he wanted his own shotgun...( we all know you hunt with a rifle - his Daddy set him straight in his retelling of the story at bedtime) so that he could go walking in the woods near our new place.  He said that way if he walked up on a deer he could shoot it.  Then come home and tell me that he shoot his gun (he doesn't want me to worry if I hear a shot) jump on his 4wheeler then go pick up the deer and bring it home.  I tried to tell him that he needed to dress the deer in the field.  He doesn't want any part of that right now.  He said that is Daddy's job, he will kill it and eat it.

So my wonderful husband and my Florida born mountain raised son are out buying a rifle.  I guess when boys get ideas like he did last night it's right time that his Daddy takes him and buys a rifle.  Men, I love them and thier rites of passage.  

I keep waiting for the movers...

Well yet another unproductive day towards the move.  We don't even have boxes yet.  I am not sure what we expect to happen... but nothing has happened and I guess that's what we should expect.

I did, however, attend the most beautiful wedding ceremony ever today.  There is something to be said in this day and age for a couple to be pure at the altar.  There was something spectacular there.  There isn't a word to describe it.  The presence of God was tangible.  He had ordained it and there was no doubt otherwise. Yet, it was fun... and very reflective of the couple and it almost restored my faith in love.  It was the first wedding that I attended that the emphasis was on the ceremony and not the reception.

But while I was gone the movers didn't show up.  I just dread the work that is involved in what we are trying to do.  The simple renovations to the farm house, the packing of their stuff, the packing of our stuff...  I am just tired thinking about it.  And another day goes by and my heart breaks.  I just want to yell, Lord move, or move me.  It's excrutiating to know that I don't belong where I used to, and yet I don't belong anywhere else either.  This whole thing depends on good old fashioned work... something none of us are really good at anymore.  An object in motion stays in motion.  Well the first of October God was very clear to "Be Still" so now we are just stuck in still.  

There are times in our lives that we just want to play an ostrich and stick our head in the sand, and I guess that's where I am at today.  I just want to run, no packing, no details... just run after the dream without the consequences and without the effort.  

I love you, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Psalm 18:1-2

I know I may be taking that out of context but it is the cry of my heart.  Lord, deliver me, even if it's just from a big case of lazybuttitis.  Deliver me from myself, and the things I do to sabatoge my own progress.  Lord, I choose to believe in you.  I choose to believe in love.  I choose to be obedient to the calling you have on my heart.  I love you...

So many distractions, so little time...

So there was this grand plan today to organize and start the process of cleaning out Julia's room. Seeing as how we didn't go to the farm yesterday I figured I needed to at least get a head start on clean up here and getting ready to move.  Ande was going to get boxes... we had a plan.  An agenda.  I already had dinner plans.

So why when her room looks like this did she spend most of the day...

Because it's the holidays!  Her cousin Cyle called this morning and said that he & his fiance were in town.  Always on the lookout for an excuse to get out of work we invited them over.  You heard of saved by the bell...Julia and her stuffed animals were saved by the phone.

So instead of being chained to the mess of the year (2 days into it and she already holds the reining title) we spent the day playing Wii.  Isn't it nice for family to visit?  

This is Cyle, one of my five nephews.  He is getting married this summer to a really great law student...

I love her.  They have been dating for years and have been engaged forever waiting for her to be through with school.  Well they decided that 2009 is the year.  So this summer they will get married and next summer she will sit for her bar after graduation.

Alex with his Uncle Kerry!  Uncle Kerry was at the hospital when Alex was born.  He used to call him Tater Head.  It was great to spend the day with him and his wife...

Drinking coffee, eating pizza... laughing and just having a great day with family.  Grandma and Grandpa even showed up for a while.  This is what family is all about.  It was a great day and I feel abundantly blessed to be related to these people.  We share the same last name... all of us women have decided to marry into this family... and I can honestly say, without a stitch of sarcasm that I hands down have the best mother in law in the universe.  My father is law is growing on me after 15 years :), but my mother in law rocks the kasbah.  

Lord, thank you for today.  For redemption of relationships.  For unconditional love and sister in laws who bring sweets.  Thank you for new family members and anticipation of weddings.  Thank you for a full Aunt's heart.  Keep them safe Lord.  Bless them.  Bless them, bless them, bless them.  In Jesus name I pray.  Amen.

2009...

Here it is.  Our future.  There is so much to do and yet today we just couldn't get into the groove.

Well maybe everyone else could have but for some reason today I just wasn't feeling it.  We spent the night last night with my wonderful inlaws.  We went with them to their church and heard a good gospel singing.  Went back to the house and watched Ryan Seacrest and then went to bed.  Nothing exciting, nothing over the top just a quiet evening sitting in a beautiful church hearing some music that is all new to the kids and I.  It was beautiful but different.  Being the Christian Rockers that we are... gospel just isn't something that we have a lot of experience with.  But I see that changing.  

We got up this morning and were supposed to head to the farm for some more work.  We got there and I just didn't want to face it.  Not today.  Not the first day of 2009.  The work just seems so overwhelming and sometimes I can face it and sometimes I just want to ride around in Ande's truck and look at the countryside. So with some sweet talk that's what we did.  We unhooked the haul trailer and headed out to Fontana Dam.  We didn't take any pictures but I have this one from when Ande and I did our backpacking trip in October.

What a beautiful place.  So we took the kids and the dogs and went riding around out at the Dam.  We had packed a lunch to eat at the farm, which consisted of 2 2liters of soda - Mountain Dew and Diet 7Up & cold hamburgers.  The plan was we were going to heat them up when we got there.  Well, we didn't end up at the farm.  Have you ever had one of those epiphany moments?  I had one today.  We are sitting in the cab of the truck eating cold hamburgers on regular bread with non melted cheese with ketchup & mustard.  An Escalade pulls up along side of us in the parking lot...just about the time that I lifted the 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew to my mouth.  See the cups were at the farm too.  Nothing like a bunch of locals, in their work clothes, eating out of aluminum foil and drinking out of 2 liters.  They had Florida tags.  The Dad spent most of the time that we saw them on the phone (probably working even while on vacation to pay for the Escalade)... that used to be our dream life.  Look how far we have come.  I just started chack-a-ling. 

The epitomy of redneck.  Oh well who are we trying to impress.  Everyone I have ever tried to impress has usually been the first one that God humilitated me in front of.  I am to the point that I just don't care what people think.  Really.  Obviously because what you may have not noticed in the picture of the kids is this...

Only people with no pride drive around with a dog box on the back of the truck for a family day out.  Because you know that I can't leave them at home.    I love to see the looks on peoples faces when they drive by and see Valley and Zoe in the back.  Especially those people that I used to be that worried about stuff like that.  Look we are a family of 7... 2 of them don't fit in the cab... we all know what Zoe is capable of if left alone.  So we take them where ever we go to save our bathroom.  

So even as we were all out Hillbilly Deluxe today this was our view.

I can't look at those mountains...the Smoky Mountain National Park and not know that there is a Creator that has the whole world in His hands.  Even as my life seems to spin out of control to Him it is all under control.  

Phillipians 4:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." 

Phillipians 1:20, "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death."

Lord, thank you.  For the grandeur of your creation.  For subtle reminders that you are all around us.  Thank you for your peace that passes all understanding.  You alone can provide that at this moment.  I love you Creator, Redeemer & Breath of the Almighty.  Only by Jesus can I approach your throne so it is in His name that I pray and praise all of you.

Work outs....

Ok, so for the past three weeks Ande and I have been working out 4-5 times a week and cutting out carbs.  This is my attempt to keep up with my weight loss and my work outs.

2/5/09

1 cup of coffee with half and half

Atkin's Shake

2/4/09

1 cup of coffee with half and half

1 Atkin's Shake

Asiana buffet for lunch to include: 8 pieces of sushi, 1/2 cup of boiled shrimp, braised chicken, salad and a diet drink

Fasted dinner

Sugar Free jello snack after the gym

30 minutes tall bike

30 minutes XTrainer on eliptical

jog .3 miles

walk .7 miles

20 minutes in the free weight room working on shoulders, arms & abs.

2/3/09

Atkins Cafe Carmel Shake

1 cup of coffee with half & half

Pulled pork with a little sauce

a small order of fries

1 piece of fried trout

1/2 cup of buttered noodles

Didn't go to the gym

2/2/09

1 cup of coffee with half and half

10am Slim-Fast with fat free milk

2pm 1 Hershey Kiss

2 fried eggs, 3 slices of bacon & 2 sausages

sugar free jello with cool whip

30 minutes XTrain Aerobic on eliptical 

25 minutes on bike

10 minutes on treadmill

jogged .5 miles on track

walked .7 miles on track

50 sit ups

2/1/09

1 cup of coffee with half and half

10 am Slim-Fast with fat free milk

4 pm a few bites of chili

7 pm Chicken Alfredo with broccoli. (Dreamfield pasta)

30 minutes tall bike

30 minutes XTrain Aerobic on eliptical 

15 minutes walk around track...