What does honor look like and how do we honor with our old spirit, and with a heart of stone? I know some will say that we are born with a heart of stone because of the fall of man, but I don't know that I would agree with that. I know that as a little girl I loved whole heartily and trusted with a naive love. It was only as I got older that I had "experience" that made me not able to trust that made me have a heart of stone. We are told not to judge but yet I seem to have done that at some many points a long the way. When my parents had my brother, when my parents fought, when they divorced, when they walked that out and my new life emerged I was a bitter, I was confused and I didn't trust with such abandon as I had before.
Judgments against our parents, they didn't meet our expectations and more often than not, we judge them as inferior. We don't only condone the behavior we judge them as less than. When I grow up I will NEVER.... I will NOT ever say that.... I will never let them see me cry. What about the simple things of not being honest about a situation? We have judged them unmerciful before we have even approached them. We think we are doing it to protect them but are we not judging them as inadequate to handle the truth? I know many people that have walked in years of pain because they tied their parents hands in being able to do what should have been done because they were dishonest. Then we want to know why they didn't jump to our aide. Which just leads to more resentment, bitterness and you guessed it judgment. I believe that it is with loving honesty that we are able to have a new spirit and a softened heart. It is in the confession of our own faults that we can be softened and changed into a new creature.
Romans 5:1-5, "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
So how do we find this forgiveness for those who didn't live up to God's plumb line? We have to find our faith to be truthful. "Yes, I know that hurt me deeply, but I know that you were working out of your own limitations." God's grace it sufficient. It is through his love and grace for me that I am able to share it with others. That I am able to know that in my hardest moments, the seasons of excessive sin in my life that God was loving me through it. It is through those hard places that I have been able to praise and bless God in my life. Those who knew me when will be shocked to know of the growth, the softness and the tenderness that God Himself has worked into my life. I can come to them now and love them again with a naive love because God's love for me is limitless. Even if they never change, I have changed. Our Pastor was joking yesterday talking about family playing your buttons. What if they don't stop playing them, we are changed, we are different, we don't have to react the same way we did before we learned of the redemptive love of Christ.
It's the teaspoon bucket thing again. They are limited in their ability to love because they don't know of the love of God. Even if they have sat in a pew every Sunday for the last 40 years it is possible that they have never been honest enough with themselves or others around them, or God Himself for God to be able to show them the overflowing love that he can give. It is in our weakness that He is made strong. If we are unable or unwilling to show our weakness, if we are so full of ourselves then there is no room for God to come in and soften that part of ourselves. We have to die to our pride and our will.
John 12:23, "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."
That's how we find the overflow, the abundance and the ability to let God work on us and in us. By being vulnerable, by submitting to the death, God can and will resurrect us. To something more, to something that doesn't just suck the nutrients around it but produces something that can be shared with someone else. We grow exponentially, we have something to give out because we haven't stolen all of the Sonshine for ourselves.
Lord, it is my continued prayer that you would teach me forgiveness. That I would remember the forgiveness that you have shown me. The mercy Father that has been so abundant for me. Lord, let me die to my will and my pride that keeps me from being able to be exponentially able to give to others. Lord, I thank you for the calling on my life. That Lord you have called me and every other one of your children to live in the fullness of your love. Lord, teach us to not be stingy with your blessings but to pour them out on everyone around us. Especially our parents and our family Lord. Lord, you have given us the ability to pick our front row, our friends Lord, but teach us to love the hecklers in the balcony Lord that remember us before you cleansed us. Lord, I love you and thank you for your mercy, Lord, I humble myself to that and say that my life belongs to you. All of it Lord. There is nothing that I hold back in my own self righteous indignation. You created me, you have seen every offense, you have seen every hurt. Lord, there is nothing that I can't share with you. You know it all anyway. Thank you Father for your continued redemptive work in my life Father. Continue to teach me how to pour it out onto others. You are the lover of my soul, you are my rock, my fortress and my redeemer. I give you all glory, all honor and all power. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.
"What does honor look like and how do we honor with our old spirit, and with a heart of stone?"
ReplyDeleteWhat a great starting question! I loved reading the whole thing. I´m glad I waited til now. The post was God´s reminder for me about the right way to be a blessing while being down here.
Let Him use you Jen!
Cintia