Peace be within me

Psalm 122:6-8 "Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: "May those who love you be secure. May there be peace within your walls and security within your citadels." For the sake of my brothers and friends, I will say, "Peace be within you."

I don't know about anyone else's weekend but my own was a constant sprint from one activity to another. Dancers, youth concerts, serving our congregation, and Christmas parties. This morning I struggle to slow down to enjoy today as another day that the Lord has made with mercies and grace new for today. Today I seek peace around me and with myself.

There are so many things that I want to do. I need to get the house ready to decorate for the season, I need to do umpteen loads of laundry. I need to go to the grocery store, we are out of everything. One week of excessive activities and it seems that I am again so far behind that I feel like I am first. I don't have time to do the things that I want to do because I have to do the things that I need to do. I was watching Oprah the other day, Denzel Washington was on talking about his new movie. There was a line that I just loved, "Do what you have to do so that you can do what you want to do". That's what I am doing today. Doing what has to get done so that I can do the things that I want to do.

There is a ministry opportunity everywhere I turn, but I feel like the Lord is telling me to do my duties today. If my family is suffering while I am ministering to others than I really feel that I am being disobedient. If I don't focus on them first, then no matter what breakthrough I feel I can bring to others, I don't believe I will see it. If I walk in the disobedience of doing what I want instead of what God has set before me, I go back to the alter of sacrificing what God isn't asking for. So often we can feel pulled in a thousand directions when all God would say to us is to go the task he has set before us no matter how insignificant they may seem.

In my travels this weekend I have heard some really great words. The Youth speaker challenged our teens to do more than to just show up. Showing up is only a small part of it, be engaged, seek the face of God, and offer something that hurts. I can wrap my head around that for my own life today. If I just show up this morning, if I just get up and show up, nothing gets done, I want someone to give me applause for showing up and I haven't done anything. Jesus did more than just show up, he put some effort behind it. He evoked change no matter where he went. Today I choose to do more than just show up, I lay at the foot of the Cross my desires and my preferences and for today decide to make memories with my family even as we do the duties that it takes to keep a house moving forward. We will do more than show up, we will engage with God in every activity that we do, and even as I fold mountains of laundry today I will keep my eyes upon the throne and sing his praises.

Our Pastor this weekend preached on what is worth dying for. Is my family worth dying for? We would all say yes, I am sure. But am I willing to kill my desire to do more and be more than a mom today? I am willing to lay aside my own agenda and serve their needs? Am I willing to die to the self within that demands to have her own way? Am I willing to kill my own selfish motivations and just be what they need me to be today? Or do I need to go conquer the world to feel like I have played a role?

Psalm 85:10-11, "Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other. Faithfulness springs forth from the earth, and righteousness looks down from heaven."

Doing what needs to be done, instead of apologizing for being busy is easier. Putting my hand to the job at hand, instead of running chasing after my own sense of heroism, is obedience, it's taking what the Lord has poured into me for today and giving it back as a sacrifice of praise to the Lord. Today I choose to be obedient to what the Lord has put before me. Today I choose to live fully engaged in the lives that I touch while doing my duties, even if that only means my own children, and my own self.

Lord, thank you for today. Thank you Lord that you don't put pressure on me to overcome the world, because through Christ Jesus I am more than an overcomer. Your Words says it and I believe it. Thank you Lord that I can have peace within my own home by laying down my agenda and picking up yours. Thank you for your whisper in my ear, thank you for the gift of my home and my children. Thank you Lord that even as today is trash day in the natural that you too are cleaning the trash out of my heart, my soul today as I move forward in your will. Lord, thank you for the opportunity to buckle down and serve you as I serve my family today. You are so abundant in your provision for me Lord and today I chose to maintain the gifts that you have so extravagantly provided for my family. Bless you Lord, Bless your Son and Your Spirit. The only thing I chase after today is you and your will for me. I give you all the power, the glory and the honor, taking off my martyr hat and offering it as a sacrifice for today. Thank you Lord, for your sacrifice so that mine can be complete. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen.