Truth and Grace

The urge to quit is the last obstacle between you and your dreams. -Richard DeVos

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are one." John 10:27-30

So much of my theology has changed this weekend. So much of what I have held to be true for so long just isn't true anymore. For years my husband has told me that I am the most easily offended person that he knows. I just started to accept that as a truth in my life. Well this weekend with some powerful teaching it was stated, "The reason you are so easily offended is because you have used people to define you for your whole life". Whoa, ok I can see that. I really can. That has been a part of what God has been working in my heart since the beginning of the year. I was aware that it was an issue but I didn't realize how much it really shaped me. I can not be controlled and manipulated by someone who doesn't have anything that I need. Okay, got that too. I can see that…when I started looking at it all together it went farther than that. As I was processing some of this there was more of the revelation added to it.

God has designed us to fulfill our destiny, and the one thing that has been consistent in my life for as long as I can remember is that I "offend" people. There are some that I don't have to say a word before they have decided that they don't like me. There are others that liked me until they realized that I had responsibility for them, there are others that like me as long as I am petting them. I have tried for so long to temper myself...to keep myself from offending others. Here is what I know. Jesus offended people. Everywhere he went he offended people. God has created me to be iron in some people's life. If you have a problem with that, take it up with my creator.

That doesn't mean that I am excluded from having grace and mercy for people, with people. Jesus loved even as he offended. Jesus loved even his betrayer enough to serve Him at the last Supper. Everything Jesus told them was out of love. Was out of a love so deep that He didn't want them to remain hurting, to remain suffering, to remain as they were when he found them.
Do you think the woman at the well wanted to hear that she was with a man that wasn't her husband. What if she had gotten offended and walked away instead of listening to his heart. What would her future have looked like? It would have changed the whole story. What if he had been too afraid to be honest...What if he were more concerned with being kind than being honest how would it have ended then?

As I love myself and accept this attribute that God has given me I will be able to love more those around me. Although in the last few weeks, God has poured such a love for his people into my heart. When a woman is really struggling, when she is really sharing, when she is really hurting, I can almost feel it within myself. On the other hand, God has given me the ability to see when it is pride or martyr motivated. I find grace and mercy in those areas not for the events but for the woman that feels like that is all she has to offer. As Jesus did with the woman whose offering offended others. God knew her heart, he could feel her love, even as the event would be ridiculed for being extravagant...how much more extravagant is God's love for us? Through her shame she worshiped him the best she knew how. She offered the best that she had...he knew what she was doing. It was the others around her that wanted to judge her...maybe out of their unwillingness to make such an offering.

There are some that can live in a no wake zone. For some it's okay, that's where they are comfortable, but that's not how God wired me and when I am less that what he has called me to be to keep other's from getting ruffled than I am denying what he has done for me. I become impotent for my calling, for my anointing. I am not here to please people. They don't have what I need, they aren't my source. As I draw nearer to God and listen to his voice he tells me...

"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of th ethe world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: No servant is greater than his master. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also." John 15:18-20

There are going to be people that don’t like me. There are going to be people that get offended by what I say. There are going to be some that walk away, that at one time were able to be close that as time goes one will no longer be able to. I am responsible to the field that God has given me and I MUST live out my calling. I MUST say what he puts in my mouth to speak. I MUST be obedient to the voice of my shepherd.

Father, I repent for not walking in what you have given me. Lord, I know that you have told me that as I share my testimony that the words will carry your anointing. Father, I pray that my heart would be aligned to yours. I pray that the love for your people will continue to be my motivator and that Lord even as I say your words that you would put love in my arms for their comfort. Lord, allow the fullness of what you have created in me not be hindered by my worst enemy...myself. Even as I struggle, even as I chase after you Lord. Even as I continue to be changed, I will never reach a place where I feel changed enough to be qualified, you are the qualifier and the caller and this morning I hear your voice calling me out of the shadows. Father the joy is coming as you teach me to be what you have designed me to be. As I let go of what I have been ... to become what you have for me, it’s a beautiful creation that I am able to see. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.