Let My People Go!

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1

I was sitting at Wendy's last night and there was a young man talking about how he had just done 9 months in prison. As I sat there my thoughts were consumed by feeling a deep sympathy for his mother. This young man may have been in his early 20's and there was no repentance but almost a badge of honor. He was talking to another women behind the counter and she chimed in that she did 30 days in county.

As I sat there listening to this conversation. As I started looking at my own children and their futures. Would I have done all that God required of me as a mother? Would it matter? What if they never found their calling? What if they too ended up where this young man had been.

Carol Kent, spoke at the Women of Faith conference about her son. He was a man with a bright future. He was at the Naval Academy and had a new beautiful wife. The wife had been previously married and had 2 little girls from that relationship. Carol's son Jason, in an attempt to protect those girls, killed the ex-husband. Whether it was a temporary insanity, or whether he truly believed they were in danger, the sentence came down from the court that he was to have life in prison with no chance of parole. So here is a Godly mother, a mother who "did" everything right to raise her son and yet now his whole life changed and so had hers. The good news about Jason is that, no matter how much prayer has gone up for him he still remains in prison, but he has a happy heart about it. He found a ministry there, he shares his love of Jesus with others around him. Not even close to what this mother envisioned for her son.

At the conference I started thinking about what it would have been like to be Paul's mother. Here was a bright young man, homeschooled I am sure, until he was of age to sit under the scribes and learn the law from the best teachers. According to Acts 22:3, he studied in Jerusalem under the Rabbi Gamaliel, well known in Paul's time. That doesn't come by chance. You don't go to Princeton or Yale by chance. There is a lot of work put into attaining the best education available. I have to think that his mother played a role in that. Her whole life while standing at the market with her girlfriends she would chatter about her pride in her son. "How is your Saul?", they would ask. "Brilliant, do you know that on his last exam he got a perfect score? He is on the fast track to Pharisee I just know it." When he saw the Stephen killed, or others like them do you think perhaps he went to his parents home and sat with his mother having a conversation "Hey Mom, guess what I did today? That man Stephen who claims that this Jesus from Nazareth is the Messiah, we killed him today. I just can't believe that anyone would believe that this Jesus could be the Messiah, I heard he was just a carpenter in Nazareth."

Imagine her heartbreak, her disbelief, that on the road to Damascus that Saul was renamed Paul. I can just hear his mother. "Son I named you Saul after your uncle, we don't know anyone named Paul. Why would you let this man take the name that I gave you at birth?" "Oh momma, it was the most wonderful thing you could have imagined." "And what exactly am I supposed to tell my friends, huh? That you walked away from everything your father and I have done for you to follow this man Jesus?" "You are never going to fill my home with the pitter patter of little feet, or give me a beautiful daughter in law?" I believe that the time Paul spent back in Tarsus he was trying to convince his parents of his future, and his calling. But that's just me as a daughter and a mother.

Can you just imagine her devastation? Her guilt and shame? All the hours she spent toting him back and forth to that synagogue for it to come down to this moment? For him to walk away. Our convictions are strong ladies and I know that I would have been heartbroken.

How many times do we feel entitled to better? Better circumstances, better futures? How many of us can see our vision of our future? That of our children or others that we love? Brothers, sisters, parents, friends? How many times does it really look like you have pictured in your head? Oh dear ladies, we want to get them in the right schools, have the right friends, the right teachers. But what if God's plan for them doesn't look like ours? Are our entitlements going to keep us from being a blessing in their lives? Can we line up with what God has called them to do? Even if it is to minister in prison for a life sentence? Or are we going to stand with our fist towards the sky and yell why my son?

Do you remember what God required of Issac? Do you know what God Himself had to sacrifice? Why do we think that our children, our plans, our future, our promises...God made promises to Abraham about Issac. Are we willing to lay our Issac down and let God have His will in their lives?

Lord, as a mother a daughter and a sister, Lord, I lay down my vision for those I love. Lord, I will not grumble when they make what appear to me to be bad decisions. Lord I choose to trust you, to love you and to let you have them. Lord, today I let them go. They no longer have to live up to my expectations Lord but to yours. Lord, no longer will I hold them back by holding them accountable for everything I have ever done for them. I release them Lord into your Mighty Hands and say Lord, have your way. Let me not plow their field, Lord, let me groom my children without killing their spirit. Lord, let me tattoo your words upon their hearts because I have a promise from you that if I do that, they will never depart from it. Lord thank you for my children and those that I love. I thank you for the precious and the grace growers because they are all your children, and even as a Momma can't have favorites, neither can a Daddy. Thank you Lord, Bless your Holy Name, in your sacrificed Son's Name. Amen.