Today I choose to live a day of integrity.
Today I choose to not get offended and to forgive quickly.
Today I choose to be a loving mother and an encouraging wife.
Today I choose to walk forward in my relationship with Christ.
Today I choose to forgive myself the way that Christ has forgiven me.
Today I choose to walk in the joy of the Lord.
Today I choose to humble myself.
Today I choose to rest in his presence.
Today I choose to share God's love with those I meet.
Today I choose to honor my husband as the man of God he is.
John 14:1 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."
This morning as I sent my soldier off for the next 18 days I ponder why God's plan for me was to be a military wife. A title and a position that I hold very dear. You have to have pride in your country, when you have pride in the uniform and the flag that they stand for. I have been a military wife for over 13 years now, though it doesn't define me it does give me a greater appreciation for suffering, for submitting to authorities and for sacrifice.
I have a wonderful husband, a God given gift to treasure and walk along side of. He doesn't always see himself that way and there are times when I know he would love to pull the covers over his head and be a little boy again. So much is expected of him from a hundred different directions. Very rarely does his complain. Sometimes, as we turn the light off to go to sleep he snuggles in real close and holds me real tight. In my mind I know that he is holding on for dear life, I would never take away his masculinity by pressing for answers, I just pray for him that God would continue to give him the strength he needs to face tomorrow. He's a soldier, a man's man, big truck driving, hammer yielding, primitive camping, 4 wheeling man. I always find strength in him when I need to. I know that I will be married to him until the day I go home to Jesus. Our vision is the same, our hearts are lined up and though our passions run in different directions we walk along side each other encouraging, edifying, loving and respecting one another.
Yet, on mornings like this. When I know that I have 18 days to myself, 18 days of the middle of the bed, 18 dinners without Daddy at the table. I want to be selfish. I want to hold on to the last second, and anticipate the last kiss.
John 15:13 says "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
My husband lays down his life for others in an outstanding way. He ministers to young boys through Scouts, it's his passion. He sacrifices time, his time to rest, to just kick back and watch TV, his time with his own family, to love those boys like a Daddy should love their boys. He is a man's man yes, but he has the heart of a father and reflects that everywhere he goes. He lays down his life for his family, his friends, his community, his church...every time he puts on that uniform and is a representation of all of us. All that he stands for is in his making sure that those kids he knows and loves are safe. I can complain all that I want to, but if he didn't do these things he wouldn't be him and I wouldn't get the chance to have such great times of reflection.
Oh how I love that man. I know that he is one of God's many tools to hem me in (see Psalms 139:5). He keeps me grounded, he keeps me real and he loves me in a way that only he can.
Ephesians5:33 "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
I have decided that God made me a military wife because he knew that there would be times that I would need something to honor about my husband. It was something that I could respect, something to keep my perspective clear. I am not real good at seeing those things most of the time. This is something that is in my face once a month, a few weeks a year, that reminds me that my husband isn't selfish, isn't self seeking and feels like he has a role in the world. And for this morning, that's going to have to be enough.
What did God make your husband...how does he hem you in...what does it take to keep you respecting God's greatest gift in your life?
Lord, this morning I approach your throne with humility. Thank you Lord for my husband, thank you for the man that you knit together in his mother's womb just for me. Thank you Lord, that you designed my life to include him. It is an honor and a privilege to love and be married to such a wonderful creation of yours my dear Creator. Lord, I pray that you give him strength over the next couple of weeks to do what needs to be done for this mission, but Lord also that he would hear your voice, your commands and be obedient to them. Lord, I release him into Your hands, and I trust you to do what is best for him, for me, for us. Thank you Lord that you thought enough of me, loved me enough to send me someone so precious and kind. I give you all the power and the glory forever and ever. In your Son's all powerful name. Amen.
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