Luke 18:32-34, "He will be handed over to the Romans, and he will be mocked, treated shamefully, and spit upon. They will flog him with a whip and kill him, but on the third day he will rise again.” But they didn’t understand any of this. The significance of his words was hidden from them, and they failed to grasp what he was talking about."
Boy, do I understand that. They failed to grasp what He was talking about. Yeap, that's me. It's nice to know that I am not the only clueless one out there. Really it is.
In this season, so many have offered advice. They have all said to me what I have been trained to say to someone in my situation. I know all of the right answers, I am looking for revelation. I am looking for something new, something exciting, something to kick start me back to being myself. Something that will help me shake this depression... something that will give me a vision for the future... something that reminds me that God himself remembers me. I know that I am in the palm of his hand, but have you ever been holding something so long that you forgot about it? I know that I am not the only one. You have done this... well I have done this -so there.
I am ready to pour out passion. I am ready to be alive, to dance again. I have been sitting so long, I am ready to dance. My husband has said that I have put my life on hold, like I have just stepped off and have remained here. I have given up everything that used to give me joy... and now I just do the bare necessities... He is right. I know that it's time to get moving. To re-engage. Stop hosting the pity party of the century... Ok, here it goes...
II just got off the phone with a friend and I feel the same way. I get the same advice, and I am not even saying they aren't right. It just is so hard to live with injustice, no control, heart break, loss, down right meaness, etc... the list goes on, way too long! I want RELIEF! NOW! I am so hurt, tired and lonely. I am overwhelmed and tired of making the good choices! Good choices are HARD! At least I know 1 other person experiencing this!!!!!!!!! I am ready to dance, too! Actually,I did dance today at church...and it felt good, real good! So, I am going to get down and boogie today, tomorrow and FOREVER! I might need a tissue under the disco lights, but at least I can say I never quit dancing! It reminds me of that Lee Ann Womack song....hey, I think that will be a blog entry! : )
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