1.15.2009

Still waiting....

I am sitting in this place that I know that times are changing.  That my tomorrow isn't going to look like my today.  Ande and I have been feeling the shutting of doors and have been grieving for the life that we have created here.  We know it's time to move on, we just don't know that the farm is our answer.

So often when you start feeling the pressure of God you try to put the puzzle pieces together logically.  I think that the farm was a logical choice for us at least economically.  I don't know if you remember the 80's movie "Dirty Dancing" but there is a moment in that movie where Patrick Swayze says to Jennifer Gray's parents "Baby doesn't sit in the corner".  That was the scene that kept going through my mind.  God may still sit me in the corner but at this point I don't think that the farm is what God has for us.  I talked to my friend from middle school who probably knows me better than most.  She told me that I just don't see you chasing chickens.  

We are blessed with options that so many don't have.  I feel so spoiled as I watch others struggle to find options.  We have too many to chose from and too much time to mull them over.  There is change coming.  We are just having to wait for answers, for details.  I am learning patience.  With God, with myself.  Trying to learn to keep stuff to myself.  Some people don't "flow" the way that our family does.  We often make 4-5 sets of plans before we actually make a move.  Some people can't change directions as quickly as we can and for that I apologize.

What we are waiting for is directions.  I just need an exit number.  I don't have to have details beyond that.  I can sit at the gas station and wait for further instruction but I want an exit number to get off this crazy highway.  

My faith is growing, my trust in God and what He has for us.  We are trying to be logical, He is prompting us to just depend on Him.  


Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: 
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.

Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the LORD;
my cause is disregarded by my God"?

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.


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